Another week, another twist in our collective life in the pandemic. I’ve already lost track of what we can and what we cannot do; what we should and what we shouldn’t do… My confusion gets greater each week with newly tweaked rules, regulations and guidelines – and I am in a relatively comfortable situation as semi-self-isolation has been my regular way of life for well over a decade. But in that respect, I belong to a small minority. Most of us need other people around to function properly. As the pandemic keeps ravaging countries, nations and societies around the world, loneliness and social isolation are among the most damaging outcomes. We are social animals; we are created to live with others and in interactions with them. John Donne, a 17th century English poet encapsulated that beautifully in his poem:
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.
We are created with an immensely deep need for love. Life without love is worthless. When you think about it, virtually everything we do in life serves to find and to sustain love. Our craving for acceptance and praise is so insatiable because these things offer us a sense of being loved; similarly, we lavish praise upon and show acceptance of those whose love we want to retain. This need for love can lead us to heroism as well as to wickedness in equal measures. And yet, more often than not the perfect love is nowhere to be found… There are two main, interconnected reasons for the perfect love being so elusive. I will talk about one of them next Sunday while touching on the other right now.
Nearly since birth, we have been conditioned to understanding love as a reward for the right attitude and behaviour. Most of that conditioning has been done involuntarily as part of the upbringing process; nevertheless, such a perception is so deeply imprinted in our minds that we act and behave accordingly without giving it a second thought. On the other hand, despite this conditioning, we would love to be loved not in return for the right attitudes, but unconditionally, regardless of our shortcomings, flaws and imperfections. Let’s be honest, no one can do it. Except for God.
‘Lord, you are our Father; we the clay, you the potter, we are all the work of your hand.’ God loves you for what you are, not for what you do. You’ve got His full attention all the time. Unlike anyone else – myself included – God doesn’t have to divide his time between many other things and people that require his attention. I’d say that God is absolutely perfect with multitasking. Whenever you call on Him you’ve instantly got his ear. God’s love for you is unconditional, there are no strings attached. He cannot love you more when you’re doing good nor does He love you less when you’re misbehaving. He loves you with utmost love that cannot be topped-up nor does it diminish in response to your flaws or shortcomings.
Do you feel uneasy on hearing this and think ‘That’s not right’? If so, that confirms how deeply rooted our conditioning is. However, God’s unconditional love doesn’t mean a pat on the shoulder from Him when you do bad things or waste your life. He doesn’t want you to hurt yourself; he is your Father, and he wants you to be happy and fulfilled. ‘No ear has heard, no eye has seen any god but you act like this for those who trust him.’ He asks you to trust His plan of love for your life because it’s good for you. In other words, God wants you to let Him love you.
Of course, it’s never enough to hear about love. We want to feel loved. So, let’s ask God to give each one of us that deep sense and feeling of being loved by Him. You can make your own prayer or follow mine in your heart:
God, I believe you are my Father. You brought me to existence out of love; you wanted me and you gave me life. Thank you for this great gift. I believe that you love me for what I am – your beloved child – not for what I do. I believe that your love for me is unconditional, that you never stop loving me, even when I turn away from you. Father, please let me feel your love for me. I open my heart to your plan for my life because I believe it’s a plan for my happiness and fulfilment. Thank you for your love. Amen.