Toughen up. Get a grip. Man up. These are among the most commonly used phrases when people struggle with certain situations, conditions or with life in general. These phrases are simple and effective tools to help those in trouble, right? Well, they might work but only in certain situations and not for everyone. Because sometimes life can be quite complicated and throw more at us than we can handle. That’s exactly what we see in today’s first reading – a man who ‘wished he were dead.’ Who was he and why did he want to be dead?
The prophet Elijah was a powerful messenger of God in the separatist northern kingdom of Israel, created as a result of rebellion against the immediate successor of King Solomon. As part of that new political project two shrines, alternative to the Temple in Jerusalem, were established against the already settled traditions of the ancient Jewish religion. To cut a long story short, the biblical tradition considered the Northern Kingdom as schismatic and heretical, a nest of pagan idolatry and moral decline. The prophet Elijah proclaimed the word of God in a very inhospitable environment. As a representative of the God worshipped in Jerusalem, condemning idolatrous national religion, his ministry was considered as political, belligerent and hostile by king Ahab and his pagan wife Jezebel, a great promoter of the cult of Baal. Elijah was direct and bold in his fiery confrontations with the king. After years of struggle, he eventually seemed to succeed. In his famous showdown against a large group of pagan priests, the entourage of queen Jezebel, and witnessed by a great crowd of Israelites, he proved that there was only one God. That led to the slaughter of the pagan priests on the spot. That was a moment of great triumph for Elijah. Or so he thought. The queen, furious with the murder of her advisors, vowed to kill Elijah. So, he ran away and we find him dejected, far from his home country, in the middle of nowhere, under a bush, wishing to be dead. How familiar his words might sound: ‘I have had enough. Take my life.’
Toughen up. Get a grip. Man up. Such phrases, in their simplistic form, can work in the short term because they either call us to bottle things up or simply ignore the cause of the problem. Most often though they just postpone the inevitable confrontation with it and often it’s much harder to deal with the cause later on. Just in case you’re wondering, I’m not a fan of the modern overly emotional teary attitude, sometimes defined as ‘woke’. I am a fan of the ‘Toughen up; get a grip’ attitude but in its substantial, effective and meaningful form, not the dismissive and simplistic one. What do I mean by that?
Most of us have been brought up in a way that emotions are something we have to deal with on our own. Many of us even think that negative emotions are bad and morally wrong. So we’ve learnt in a practical way to hide or suppress them or to pretend otherwise and so on. Although it might seem to work, it rarely does. We can experience sudden changes of mood, inexplicable anger, irritability or abrasiveness. In more extreme cases it can lead to withdrawal, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, substance abuse or violence; in fact, this list can be much longer. So, the first step is to admit that there is a problem as the prophet Elijah did: ‘I have had enough.’
Then he fell asleep; in other words, he got some rest. That’s a very important aspect of dealing with our challenges. With a few exceptions, most situations don’t require immediate action. Modern communications technology is great but, in many ways, has been detrimental to our interactions with others. The ability to respond instantly, be it by text, email, messaging app or social media makes us reactive but not reflective. All those means, deprived of the so important body-language component, worsen our interactions, fan the flames of trifle matters and turn them into fiery battles. It’s fascinating and scary at the same time to see how so-called ‘social media’ turns people against one another over minor differences of opinion.
The prophet Elijah was woken up twice and offered food and drink to strengthen him. Or in other words, to toughen up. The food was offered by ‘the angel of the Lord.’ For many of us seeking help can be challenging for a variety of reasons. We don’t have anyone we can really trust; or we don’t want to bother and burden others with our problems; or we feel ashamed of our problems, or their nature or their very existence. These are just a few examples. Whatever the problems or challenges we face, whatever their nature or effects, it’s always better to get help in dealing with them than doing it on our own. St Paul expressed that in simple words: ‘Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.’ (Galatians 6:2)
‘Strengthened by that food [Elijah] walked for forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.’ The journey undertaken by the prophet is symbolic. In the Bible, the period of 40 days has a symbolic meaning as the time of test and trial but also of development and maturing. During that journey, the prophet ‘got a grip’ – he began to see his life differently, he reflected on the past and learnt from it. The destination of his journey focused his mind; he was travelling to the place where Moses was given the Law, symbolised by the Ten Commandments, and when the people of Israel entered a covenant with God. In a way, Elijah’s journey is a return to the source of his strength, namely to God. The journey helped the prophet to see his life from the right perspective, in a wider context. He found a deeper meaning and sense to things that had happened and would happen in his life. That’s the vital role played by our religious faith – it helps us to get a grip and toughen up when we battle through life on our way to the ultimate holy mountain: God himself.