On 17 December 2011 a young jobless postgraduate in a provincial Tunisian city set fire to himself in protest against a lawless action of the local police against him. Until that day, unpunished and corrupt officers along with local officials had abused their authority. They got away with it because the whole country was governed in an authoritarian way. The sacrifice of Mohamed Bouazizi sparked wider protests and finally overthrew the old regime. A powerful dictator was defeated by a powerless and defenceless individual.
‘His teaching made a deep impression on them because […] he taught them with authority’. The last word – ‘authority’ – appears once again in today’s gospel. In both instances it’s associated with admiration. This word is used by the storyteller himself or put into the mouths of the spectators. Jesus here doesn’t claim any particular authority, he solely carries out his mission: he teaches the people. Saint Mark makes mention of an unclean spirit objecting to Jesus. Perhaps there is a heated discussion hidden behind this vivid description. The man strongly opposing Jesus eventually has been convinced by the power of arguments, but not by the argument of power. Jesus uses words not arms.
There’s a tendency to complain about teenagers as selfish, disobedient and spoiled young people. Some blame the lack of discipline, recalling ‘the good old days’ when slamming, beating, kicking and lashing were commonly accepted ways of raising children. Obedience could have been forced, but not rooted. It was a shortcut; convenient at the moment, but hardly effective in longer term. Consequently people keep the rules only because of fear of punishment.
There is a better, although a more exhaustive way: convincing. This way demands patience, respect for the opponent, and reasonable arguments. Generally speaking, human beings are constructed to seek and to follow goodness. Distinguishing good and evil is the first and the most important step. As we all know perfectly well, sometimes it’s not an easy task. Mistakes and errors are not rare. This is the time for discussions and sharing arguments. The goal of any discussion is not defeating, humiliating or ridiculing the opponent – the goal of any discussion is convincing the opponent of the validity of the arguments; and to acknowledge them as their own. Subsequently a convinced person will willingly follow the values recognized as good and right.
When you can’t convince your spouse, partner or children, the easiest solution might seem to be the argument of power and of calling them names. But I’d suggest that you rethink your arguments. To find better ones, or to find a more convincing way of presenting them; or to find out if they are wrong. Sometimes the latter turns out to be true. And then comes the hardest bit: to admit ‘I was wrong’. Because sometimes we don’t have a problem with arguments; sometimes we simply don’t have any.