{"id":13140,"date":"2026-09-13T00:00:01","date_gmt":"2026-09-12T23:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/turski.blog\/?p=13140"},"modified":"2026-09-12T13:01:49","modified_gmt":"2026-09-12T12:01:49","slug":"24th-sunday-in-ordinary-time-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/?p=13140","title":{"rendered":"24th Sunday in Ordinary time"},"content":{"rendered":"

Once upon a time in their marriage, Andrew did something really stupid. His wife Moira chewed him up for it. He apologised; they made up. However, from time to time, Moira would mention what he had done. \u2018My dear,\u2019<\/em> Andrew finally said one day, \u2018why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.\u2019\u2019<\/em> \u2018It is,\u2019<\/em> Moira said. \u2018I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Peter\u2019s opening question, \u201cLord,<\/em> how<\/em> many<\/em> times<\/em> shall<\/em> I<\/em> forgive<\/em> the<\/em> one<\/em> who<\/em> sins<\/em> against<\/em> me?<\/em> Up<\/em> to<\/em> seven<\/em> times?\u201d<\/em> reflects a commonly held limit on quietly enduring one\u2019s mistreatment. To forgive once is challenging enough, so Peter\u2019s \u201cup<\/em> to<\/em> seven<\/em> times\u201d<\/em> must have seemed truly heroic. Jesus\u2019 answer to that question: \u201cnot<\/em> seven<\/em> times,<\/em> but<\/em> seventy-seven<\/em> times,\u201d<\/em> set the bar so high as to be virtually impossible to reach, as in biblical language it meant \u201calways\u201d. Forgiving is hard for two main reasons, and both stem from common misunderstandings. The first is measuring forgiveness by emotions; the other is the belief that forgiveness equals unconditional and inconsequential acquittal of the party at fault. Because both are misunderstandings, let\u2019s try to put them right. This sermon is not – by any means – an exhaustive essay on forgiveness; it\u2019s barely touching base.<\/p>\n

We don\u2019t have to forgive people for doing nice things or for making us happy. It\u2019s a truism, but the need for forgiveness comes to the fore after we have been hurt. Pain can take different forms: physical, mental, or a mix of both. Whatever shape the pain takes, it always has a strong emotional component. Hurt feelings can remain raw long after physical and mental wounds have healed. That\u2019s why forgiveness can seem so difficult, sometimes even impossible. However, forgiveness has nothing to do with emotions or feelings for a very simple reason – we don\u2019t have control over them. If I ask you to dislike me right now, it should be easy – I\u2019ve given you many reasons for that; if I ask you to love me, that\u2019s impossible, because there isn\u2019t a single reason for that. Emotions are our involuntary, instinctive, visceral responses to certain situations or attitudes. We can\u2019t trigger them at will, nor can we shut them down. We can only control what we do while under their influence. Consequently, an act of forgiveness cannot be a matter of emotions; it\u2019s an act of my free will. In other words, regardless of what I feel or how I feel, I decide to forgive.<\/p>\n

This brings us to another common misunderstanding: forgiveness as an unconditional, inconsequential acquittal of the party at fault. We have a very strong sense of natural justice that malevolence must be punished, which is absolutely right. Let me ask you a simple question: how often have you<\/strong> hurt people intentionally, out of ill-will? How often have people felt hurt by you<\/strong> because of your ill-judgement, ignorance, mindlessness or misjudgement? Most of the time, when we hurt people, we do so unintentionally because we cannot foresee the consequences of our actions. I don\u2019t think any speeding driver is hell-bent on killing other people; it\u2019s their ignorance, lack of imagination, selfishness and so on. This is true of most of us most of the time. How apt sounds Jesus\u2019 prayer on the cross: \u201cFather,<\/em> forgive<\/em> them.<\/em> They<\/em> don\u2019t<\/em> know<\/em> what<\/em> they<\/em> are<\/em> doing.\u201d<\/em> (Luke<\/em> 23:34)<\/em> The parable in today\u2019s gospel calls for an honest examination of your own conscience, which puts other people\u2019s misdeeds and misbehaviour into a different perspective. As a young priest, I was quite strict and demanding – essentially a nasty piece of work. Over the years, my own sins, failures and weaknesses have blunted that sharp edge; the more I have personally experienced God\u2019s mercy, the more sympathetic I have become. One of the most important rules I adopted long ago was formulated by St Ignatius of Loyola: \u201cWhere<\/em> there<\/em> are<\/em> two<\/em> ways<\/em> to<\/em> interpret<\/em> the<\/em> words<\/em> of<\/em> another,<\/em> one<\/em> bad<\/em> and<\/em> one<\/em> good,<\/em> we<\/em> should<\/em> assume<\/em> good<\/em> intent.\u201d<\/em> I apply this rule to words and also actions. It\u2019s proved to work miracles!<\/p>\n

Last but not least, forgiveness is good for you. Its absence can be a massive burden that negatively affects your life. There are people who have wrecked their lives through hatred; unfortunately, quite often it\u2019s not just their own lives. Forgiveness is the first, most important step towards a better life. When you forgive, when, by a positive act of will, you reject vengeance and hatred, you effectively cut off the ball and chain attached to your legs. Then you can learn to fly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Once upon a time in their marriage, Andrew did something really stupid. His wife Moira chewed him up for it. He apologised; they made up. However, from time to time, Moira would mention what he had done. \u2018My dear,\u2019 Andrew finally said one day, \u2018why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.\u2019\u2019 \u2018It is,\u2019 Moira said. \u2018I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14818,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sermon","category-year-a"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/couple-6471113_1280.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13140"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13140\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15990,"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13140\/revisions\/15990"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14818"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tad.scot\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}